Saving The Planet Via Ringtones And Pornography (Or The Art Of Stealing Ideas)


Let's face it. Robert Bruce gets it.

In true Army of One fashion he's providing ringtones for those who dig his poetry/site/brand. Download them here.

How smart is that?

It's smarter than anything I can come up with. 

I really feel my brain is turning into oatmeal.


So I agreed to do two interviews last week and have been staring at the questions from both blog owners for the last couple of days.

How in the world do I make an interview less pedestrian?

So I was thinking about sending my answers to my brother in Cali and letting him video some hot chick reading my answers as the camera caresses her, and have Nada Surf playing in the background…

"No." my brother said. "Why don't you pick out your favorite porn video and let me transpose your answers over it."


"Really, man. The actual sex will be covered by your answers. That would be hot!"

"Um, I gotta think about that."

As much as I try to stay current I am often at a lost. 

Do people actually have favorite pornos?

My brother lives in a multi-million dollar home, drives a convertible Lexus and makes his living doing whatever Lexus driving people do.

I, on the other hand, haven't owned a car since my last divorce.

If I was really smart I would have created ringtones for this site a long time ago.

I would have a favorite porno.

I would buy a car instead of telling myself that I'm saving the fucking planet.

Saving the fucking planet?

How fucking arrogant is that?

Somedays I feel like a grain of sand on a beach the size of the universe.

I am swamped with unanswered email.

I am drowning in good deeds undone.

And other days I feel like if I can push just a little harder I might be able to make a real difference.

I search everywhere looking for something a tad bit different.


Today I got some porn to look though…

Explore posts in the same categories: Lexus, porn, Ringtones, Robert Bruce, Travis Campbell

13 Comments on “Saving The Planet Via Ringtones And Pornography (Or The Art Of Stealing Ideas)”

  1. VampireFeet Says:

    We all feel like that some times, bro. The pressure is good for you.

    But I want to know where to see these interviews!

  2. Brian Says:

    Dude, I ‘m worried about you.

  3. chartreuse Says:

    Jeez, can’t a person bitch on his own blog without people calling out the doctors.

    I get paid decent money to do nothing but think.

    When I solve a problem for some company I can’t run out and post it on my blog. That would defeat the purpose of them paying me. So I have to get ideas from other stuff and remix them to post on this blog. It drives me crazy sometimes.

    Anyway, there will be no porn in any interviews. That would be a tad bit crazy. But they will be interesting.

    And now you can’t wait to see them…

  4. Alison Nelson Says:

    I thought it was beautiful. You are a great writer and one of the reasons I read this blog is because you seem so real. It is obvious that behind the seemingly breezy posts is a real person who is trying very hard to be special in a world where no one seems to care.

    My boyfriend and I spent last month cleaning up an abandoned house in out neighborhood. We spent all day hauling garbage and picking up trash in an effort to make a difference.

    The next week it seemed there was more trash than before. The empowerment I had gotten from cleaning up the week before was suddenly gone and it all seemed so hopeless.

    Like you making a choice not to buy a car.

    Thank you for a great blog.

  5. chartreuse Says:

    Thanks Alison. I’m trying the vulnerabilty angle out to see if it will help me with the chicks! 🙂

  6. Robert Bruce Says:

    Look man, you’re the one posting these little bombs, making people think up ridiculous ideas like poetry ringtones

    And the vulnerability angle is an effective one, see Johnny Depp et al.

  7. chartreuse Says:

    I think poetry ringtones is the best idea since sliced bread.
    Grab all the rights you can and sell them for 1.50 each.

  8. Loren Says:

    You are not your khakis. You are not your blog. You are not your clever ideas. There is more than that. There is more to you. Time for you to get punched in the face I think. I mean that in a good way. In fact I could use a good smack myself.

  9. Matt Says:

    I like amateur porn.

    The professional stuff sucks in comparison to what amateurs do.

    Plus.. it’s *real*


  10. Diane Ensey Says:

    I’m agreeing with Loren – we could all use a kick in the ass at least once a week (and maybe once a day).

    The hard part of all of *this* is being unique just like everyone else. LOL.

  11. Liz Strauss Says:

    So you think a little thing like not having a favorite porn flick or not having invented ringtones shoud getcha down . . . Yeah, i understand thinking for a living will do that to ya. The only cure is music with a senseless driving beat or an open plain with someone who thinks like you do and doesn’t talk a lot. 🙂

    When those aren’t available blog your heart out, but do it cryptically. Smart chicks really like that and it makes us feel pretty. 🙂

    All of the above was void of sarcasm, i’m not sure how to show that with little smiley faces and other things. I loved this post and every comment.

  12. chartreuse Says:

    Thanks all. I needed that. Really.

  13. JC Says:

    I really like the ringtone idea, although, doing a poetry ringtone might be a hard sell. I was telling Robert Bruce that I didn’t like the idea at first, but come to think of it, I am thinking about doing it myself for Not just poetry, but character voices, slang-terms, etc., Have fun with any project you do for the people. If you enjoy then they will too. Thats why I enjoy Chars site and Robert Bruce. Hell, it inspired me to start mine.

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