How Julie Chen Helped Create The New Sprint Exclusive Entertainment Network
Exec:”chirp” Paul, you busy?
Exec:”chirp” That was a Gary move, sir.
Paul:”chirp” Glad someone got fired over that shit. Whadda you want, I’m talking to Chartreuse.
Paul:”chirp” The fucking blogger.
Exec:”chirp” what’s a blog?
Paul:”chirp” Just tell me what you want.
Exec:”chirp” I have an idea, sir.
Exec:”chirp” We’re a network, right?
Exec:”chirp” then why don’t we act like one? We can start creating our own content to differentiate ourselves from the other cell phone networks.
Paul:”chirp” Sounds stupid, risky and expensive.
Exec:”chirp” Here me out. We’ll build our own production facilities. We can be the next NBC!
Paul:”chirp” You mean I’ll be a real media CEO and hook up with some exotic from another race like Julie Chen?
Exec:”chirp” Yeah, and we can hire people like Marshall Faulk and old baseball and MTV rejects.
Paul:”chirp” I hear that Amanda Congdon’s free.
Exec:”chirp” Tried her. Busy with HBO, we don’t need her anyway. If the folks who made Barbara Walters a star couldn’t help her…
Paul: “chirp” They shoulda tried Amanda on The View.
Exec:”chirp” yeah. Anyway sir. What do you think?
Paul:”chirp” Char says it’s a bad idea. Why build a closed network when we can pull all the best content on the internet for free?
Exec:”chirp” Who the fuck is Char?
Paul:”chirp” Don’t fucking curse on ‘push to talk’, you don’t know who’s listening. Char is Chartreuse. That nigga can put a sentence together like fucking Toni Morrison and is smart enough to hide it with soft porn pictures. Don’t you read blogs?
Exec:”chirp” Oh yeah, I LOVE him.
Paul:”chirp” Really? OK, then build your network. We’ll call it SEE. The Sprint Exclusive Entertainment Network. And if it doesn’t work we’ll blame that cunt Forsee.
Exec:”chirp” Thanks, sir.
Paul: “chirp” No, thank you. Now get me Condoleezza Rice’s number. I hear she needs a soft landing.Explore posts in the same categories: new media comment below, or link to this permanent URL from your own site.